Ep 23 - thanksgiving 2
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Amber: Hi everyone, and welcome back to Allergy Actually. Thanksgiving and holiday get togethers are supposed to be fun. But when you have food allergies, asthma, or environmental sensitivities, being a guest can come with a lot of stress. Today we're breaking down simple, real life tips on guesting, how to be a good guest. Everything from communicating your needs ahead of time to navigating pets, perfume and potlucks without feeling awkward or being a burden.

Welcome to the show. Ladies, when you are either talking with patients or planning ahead for your own needs, being a guest in someone's home, what are some of the things that you talk about or think about?


The Importance of Taking Breaks & Self-Care During Gatherings
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Kara: I mean, I think first and foremost, you know, safety is number one in wanting to ensure, you know, when you think about safety, you wanna make sure you have safe air, safe water, you know, safe food. Those are kind of those things that are gonna keep us alive. And so that's where we put a lot of the emphasis, but communication about those needs is really where the key lies.

Meaghan: Yeah, I think so too. And something else that I was just thinking about too is, as a guest, going somewhere, I have asthma, but I don't really have to reach out and tell anybody or warn everybody because for the most part, I'm okay. I, you know, make sure to keep my inhaler on and all of that.

But one of the things that also I deal with whenever I go places is, it's not so much a social anxiety, but it's an over peopling kind of issue that I often need little mini breaks to have just to regather my thoughts and have a calm, quiet moment of peace. And so I think that just to remember that, that's okay too.

So if you're gonna go somewhere, you don't have to feel like "This is going to be miserable, I'm gonna be absolutely drained." If you start feeling that way, take a little break. Go to the restroom, step out on the porch, pop into a random room that doesn't have a door closed, but where there's not many people and just take a breather.

And just allowing yourself to know that that's okay can relieve so much stress, because that's literally what I do before I go places where I know I'm gonna have that feeling.

Amber: I like the take a break concept and I think about on Thanksgiving, it's usually warm enough you could go outside. So like taking a walk is a really nice thing that you could do that. I mean, if you wanna go alone, you could make that clear. Like, "Hey guys, I need a minute by myself to clear my head. I'll be back in a few." Or maybe it's just you need to be outside and invite other people to go on a walk with you. But that's one way as a guest that if you just need a breather, you can communicate that you're gonna leave, but you'll come right back.

Meaghan: Kara, when I know we talked before about your daughter who had egg allergy when she was little, and it happened to coincide around COVID time, so you didn't have to necessarily deal with navigating too many situations. But were there ever times where you did have to, like reach out to people and say, "Hey, we're coming. Just please remember we have an egg allergy in the family." Like, how did you handle that?


Communicating Food Allergy Needs to Hosts (Kara's Egg Allergy Story)
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Kara: Yeah. You know, thinking about visiting my parents is, you know, kind of where we had visited. And frankly, they grew up in a, you know, they're in of the boomer generation, so they grew up where their food allergies weren't a thing. Right? Like, they didn't know anyone. We didn't grow up as a elder millennial, none of my classmates had food allergy.

So this is brand new to them. So it really was, you know, thinking about the meals. And even kind of the cuisines, she had egg allergies, so there's certain cuisines or you know, like breakfast, right, is an egg heavy meal. So, you know, making sure we had cereal and milk like that was easy enough, right?

And we didn't go out to breakfast, which we sometimes would've done. There's a Swedish pancake place back home that's, you know, an old standby. And so, we skipped that, that trip, you know, so that we didn't have to worry about that and that was fine. But then thinking about like, for instance, for different cuisines like egg can kind of sneak into Asian cuisine, right? And fried rice and kind of other dishes there. But for the most part in, you know, Tex-Mex Mexican cooking, not as much egg, right? Especially with like rice and beans and cheese quesadilla, which is what my kids would live off of if they could. So that was an easy meal that we could go out to and not really have to, you know, still let the waitresses and people know, but that we could accommodate.

And then just going through kind of, Hey mom, you know, what kinds of things are we thinking about making? Interestingly, when we visit home, my mom is not quite the type that's like, "Oh, let's do all the cooking at home." So that was less of an issue. It was more figuring out if we're going out, where we were eating and frankly, it's a little bit of an interesting dynamic that when we visit, we end up cooking more, so.

Amber: I'm gonna invite you guys to my house. You're a wonderful guest.

Kara: Yeah. 


Navigating Pet Allergies: Communication, Pre-Treatment & Exit Plans
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Amber: You know, another thing people think about are pets. We, I think all of us have pets. Some people are very allergic to pets. It can set off their asthma. So that's one thing as guesting, if you are allergic, find out if the host family has pets, what kind, what the situation is, make sure you bring your own medicine. You know, there are a lot of people who, they don't take a daily allergy medicine, but after they're around animals, their symptoms flare up, and then they do, take it beforehand and take it along with you. Have whatever you need there. Don't expect your host to have it, because if they have pets, they may not be allergic to animals and may not have allergy medicine there. So to be a good guest, communicate ahead of time about pet allergies with the host and be prepared to. If you're still planning to go, despite them having pets, be prepared to manage your own symptoms and have an exit plan.

Kara: And I'll say a lot of times I've had patients say, gosh, you know my mother-in-law's so, she's so sweet. She locks the cat in the room and she like vacuums and all this stuff. Which is great, like thank you hostess for doing that. That also does not fully eliminate the allergen from that space. And so that's very thoughtful and amazing for them to do that and kudos. Please keep doing that, but you still should be, you know, have your emergency kit and pre-treat because that allergen is there.


The Reality of Pet Dander: Why Vacuuming Isn't Enough
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Meaghan: Mm-hmm. It'll be there for the next year, even if the cat left today.

Amber: Exactly.


Pro-Tips for Pre-Treating Environmental/Pet Allergies
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Meaghan: Right. One of the things I like to have for my patients is we talk about a plan for, you know, like every time you go to your aunt's house, you know that she has a dog and you react. So prior to going there, let's come up with what we're going to do. And I literally write this out for them. And in general, my plan includes adding some kind of second generation antihistamine, which are the ones that are non-sedating. So the first generations are like Benadryl, which is diphenhydramine, hydroxyzine, things like that, that causes you to become very drowsy.

But the second generation are things like the brand names are like Zyrtec, Xyzal, Allegra, Claritin, things like that. And so those tend to not make people drowsy. So I have them do that about 30 minutes before they go. There's a wonderful over the counter nasal spray called Nasalcrom. I love it. And it helps to prevent those allergic cells called mast cells in your nasal mucosa from opening up whenever you have your allergen exposure.

And so doing that about 30 minutes prior to exposure is also a good idea, and that can be repeated up to, I think four times a day. So if you're there for a prolonged stay, just stick it in your pocket and take it with you. It's a really great way to be able to deal with that. And of course, making sure that you keep your emergency inhaler.

I'm gonna admit, I hate to call an emergency your cough medicine inhaler. Remember that your albuterol inhaler is not to use when you are desperate. It is to use when you have symptoms. They don't have to be bad symptoms. You just want to use it early. it will be more likely to work that way.

Kara: There may be some instances where in talking with your allergist, they may suggest you take it along with your antihistamine on the way there. Almost like we would suggest that to a runner, you know, before a race that we may think about pretreating.


Final Thoughts on Perfume & Fragrances
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Amber: Any final thoughts on perfume as a guest wearing perfume? How much, what kind, anything like that?

Kara: In general, perfume it does smell lovely and I, I totally get the appeal. And also, especially if you know that you have loved ones with airway sensitivities, asthma, allergies, which in any gathering with more than like eight people, you know, even that you're gonna have probably at least one or two people with those, increasingly, I am of the favor of just skipping it because it really can be a significant trigger for more and more folks. And the smells linger. I have a beloved family member when they visit, we end up having to air out the guest room for a good week after because they love their perfume. And it, it does smell nice, but it stays. It's like third hand, you know, kinda like secondhand smoke, third hand smoke, it lingers.

Amber: And it's one of those things, if you feel like that's just a part of your identity, you cannot resist wearing some, stick to one squirt. There are people who can't smell very well and don't know that, and when they put on their perfumer cologne, they put on until they can smell it, which for people who maybe will say have normal sense of smell, can be really overpowering, but they don't realize it.

So skipping it, if you're going where there are a lot of people. If you really want to, just wear one squirt. Keep everybody breathing easy.

Thank you everyone for being with us here today. We would love if you would share this with someone that you care about who may be a guest at Thanksgiving this year.

If you're heading into the holidays with allergies or sensitivities, know that preparation isn't a burden. It's a support for your health. Advocate gently, plan ahead and give yourself permission to enjoy the moments that matter. We're cheering you on here at Allergy Actually.

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